I’m going to try to give you the short version of Day #2 with Mr. Four Seasons because so much was said and so much happened. It’s all important to me but I am hoping that I can get my point across without reliving every single moment of Day #2 because this is the day that I let my guard down.
While I was home getting ready to go into Boston to meet Mr. Four Seasons he kept texting me. We both had wanted to take a nap and I was about to head in to meet him at the hotel so we could take a quick nap before we went out to meet up with his friends. And no, “nap” is not code for sex or anything like that. We were both exhausted and really needed sleep, especially me. Then, he texts me that his friends are blowing up his phone demanding that he meet them right now at the 21st Amendment on Bowdoin Street. He called me again, he wanted to make sure I was coming but told me not to rush. He was excited to see me again.
When I went to leave my sister and niece were just walking through the door; I was already running late but I had to at least say ‘Hi’. So, I stopped and talked to them for a few minutes and my sister kept looking at me funny. She later told me that she could tell that something was up with me – something good. So, by the time I left my parents’ house I was about an hour behind schedule and when I got into my car I had a text from Mr. Four Seasons saying that his phone was running really low on battery and it might die. I called him to try to let him know I was on my way but his phone had already died, apparently.
So, I drove an hour into Boston all by myself and parked and then walked to the bar all by myself. This is something I normally would not do. I get really anxious and nervous and usually would find some excuse to not show up. But, I was feeling good about it even though I was a little worried that I would get to the bar and they wouldn’t be there. The 21st Amendment is this tiny bar right next to the Massachusetts State House and I had about a 5-7 minute walk from where I parked underneath the Boston Commons. When I get there a just run up the stairs and walked through the door without hesitation… like ripping off a band-aid because I was really worried that they had left because they had been waiting for me for so long. They were still there *relief*. I walked through the door and they are all sitting there at the bar, only one of them is facing me. He smiles but doesn’t say anything.
“Heyyyy!” I say loud enough so they will all hear me.
Mr. Four Seasons turns around and jumps out of his chair immediately and starts apologizing and hugging me and ushering me over to sit in the chair he was just sitting in.
“My phone died! I’ve been in panic mode for the last hour thinking that you are going to hate me! I kept telling Sarah that you weren’t going to show up because you couldn’t get ahold of me. They all kept telling me that you weren’t going to show up and they were trying to get me to leave but thank god we didn’t.”
I bought all of this at the time but looking back I find it rather suspicious. There was a phone charger there. Sarah was charging her phone there and they both have the same iphone. Also, Sarah had just asked me for my phone number a couple hours earlier so she had it in her phone. If it was such a big deal, why didn’t they just call me from her phone? Or why didn’t he charge his phone? At the time I just didn’t think anything of it because I had no reason not to trust them at that point.
We had a couple drinks there and then we headed toward Faneuil Hall. Mr. 4S and I held hands and I remember taking note that he didn’t change how he acted around me in front of his friends. He was still very affectionate and to be honest he seemed like he was really into me. Like, following me around like a little puppy, very eager, very excited to be around me. When we got to Faneuil we stopped and watched some street performers and then decide to go to a “divey” bar on the next street over. At the bar Mr. 4S and I are sharing our beers and really only talking to one another. We walked away from the group a couple times to talk. He said something to me during that time that is going to be forever burnt in my mind. I asked him this very simple, meaningless, question:
“If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?” I want to point out that this is exactly how I worded this question… I was not leading him to give me this response, I was not even expecting a response remotely like this:
“If I could go anywhere right now I would take you to Australia, I loved it there and I would love to take you there. I mean, that’s where we are going to have our destination wedding, anyway.” [Con-Man smile].
I looked up at him, looked in his eyes and I still didn’t see it. I still did not catch on. To be honest, the marriage topic had been thrown around a lot between the two of us and I was not completely innocent in the matter but I thought that this was all in good fun. I knew or thought that we were just joking around. My best friend had texted me at some point and asked if we were having a good time together and I texted her back a picture of us and said “Next stop: Tiffany’s!” and Mr. 4S and I laughed about it. I thought it was clear that I was joking… but, maybe it wasn’t clear. Maybe he started to think I was serious at some point. Maybe he stopped thinking I was funny and started thinking I was a complete lunatic.
I have turned into a very authentic version of myself. I am very aware that I am not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that is ok because I only want to share my time with people that are completely worthy of it. During this weekend with Mr. Four Seasons I was my most authentic self and I felt comfortable. I never felt like I had to act a certain way around him and when I said things that may have shocked others he was always on the same level as me. It almost seemed like we were made for each other. He was a good combination of man and kid, meaning he was responsible but he still knew how to have a good time and goof around. As the night progressed we held hands and danced and just had a really good time. Around midnight we headed back to his hotel where I spent the night. I am going to be very vague here because I feel that what happened behind closed doors will always be ours. What was said and what transpired meant a great deal to me and the conversation that we had in that hotel can forever stay between myself and Mr. Four Seasons. What I will tell you is that there were promises made, not promises I asked for, promises that were offered from him to me. I felt and believed that we would see each other again and continue talking indefinitely because of his voluntary words and actions.
We fell asleep holding hands and I was smitten. Just smitten. Like I had said before, I kept reeling myself back in and telling myself to get ahold of myself during all of this but by the end of the second night I had fallen, despite my best judgment but he had proven himself. There was no reason for me to believe that his words weren’t true because so far everything had panned out and had been even better than expected.
When I woke up the following morning I reminded myself that there was still a chance that this was all a dream. He could boot me out the door at any moment and all of this romance and connection could pop like a bubble and cease to exist. That didn’t happen. He asked me to go get coffee with him and told me how much time we had left together and he seemed a little sad about it. We walked out onto the street holding hands. We walked all around the city and when we would disconnect he would reach for me again. It felt like we fit together.
We stopped to get coffee and sat down next to a group of elderly couples.
“I could sit here and listen to them all day.” Mr. 4S said after sitting there for a few minutes. I agreed and then we started talking about our lives, our families, and how we grew up. As time ticked away we both started to get quiet.
“I’m kind of sad that you’re leaving today, I wish you could at least stay until tomorrow.” I told him. He had to fly home to Chicago, just to fly out with his mom in the morning. They were going to do some charity thing in South Africa for a week.
“It’s going to be okay… I promise.” He told me. He said it quietly. I couldn’t tell if it was sadness I heard in his voice or if I had just imagined it.
We sat listening to the old couples next to us, or at least I was listening to them. They were talking about how many children and grandchildren they had, so I asked:
“How many kids do you want to have?”
“What?” he was surprised, I laughed.
“You heard me…So, how many?”
“I don’t know, like, 12. Maybe, 13.” We both laughed.
“No one has ever asked me that before.” He said. I was surprised. I thought that this was a pretty normal question. Especially after everything we had discussed over the weekend. It’s not like I was asking how many children we were going to have together. I think I just wanted to know that he wanted to have children because if he didn’t there would have be no point in pursuing any kind of relationship with him. I just don’t want to waste any more time on another wrong guy.
A few minutes later we got up to head back to the hotel and my car and I realized that he never really answered my question.
“So, really, how many kids do you think you want?”
“Probably three.” he said.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Why? Because of my family?” he asked. He was the oldest of three; one brother, one sister.
“Yeah.” I said. “I want 3 or 4 I think.” I told him.
Between these serious conversations we were having a lot of fun. We have the same sense of humor and were laughing a lot. I remember at one point having this whole pretend conversation with the angry father trying to rally his children behind us. I had made a comment about it and I didn’t even have to explain to him what I was doing or talking about, he just picked it right up and went with it. I’ve never had anyone be able to do that before.
We walked through the public garden and he wanted to walk me all the way to my car but I knew we were cutting it close on time so I told him to just go back to the hotel and get ready to head to the airport. He asked me a few times if I was sure I didn’t leave anything in the hotel. It seemed like he wanted me to come with him but I didn’t want to drag out the good bye and I felt 100 percent confident that I would see him again, and soon.
We kissed and hugged in the garden and it was so very cute. I’m at least a foot shorter than him so I was on my tip toes and he was holding me close. He told me that he would text me or call me when he got home later that night. He looked down at me and kissed me one last time and said “Until Chicago…”
To be continued…