Let me start out by saying that in my 28 years I have been a good person and I have been a bad person. A long time ago I realized that I was being shitty and decided to stop; it’s that simple. I woke up one day and thought ‘hm, I don’t have to continue to be a bad bitch. I can try being nicer, better, happier and see what happens.’ I realized that being a bad person is lonely and it’s a lot of work; you feel like shit, and the people around feel like shit and that misery grows like a fucking disease. I was just a teenager when this happened so I am proud to say that I have lived a lot of life in my twenties and learned a lot of important life lessons. I have redeemed myself, been a better friend, a better daughter, and a better sister. I really grew into a person to be proud of and I am. My teenage years were rough; I experienced things that make a person angry, that made me question humanity, question if anyone is trustworthy, and if humans are truly capable of love. I was mean to people, I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, if I didn’t get my way all hell broke loose, I didn’t care about school, and I actually got in a few physical fights. I was protecting myself. I felt pain all the time and I was trying to protect myself from more pain. But, no matter how much I tried to protect myself I just kept getting hurt and that’s when I decided to try something different and this is how I did it:
Step 1: Admitting you have a problem. Like any other bad habit or addiction the first step to ridding yourself of your bad-person-ways is to admit that you are the problem. Stop blaming the world, the universe, your parent(s), and your 2nd grade teacher. Look in the mirror and say “YOU are the problem and YOU are the answer to the problem.”
Step 2: Start ever day by making the choice to be a good person. Say to yourself “Self, today I am going to be a good person. I am going to make good choices and I am going to choose to be happy. We all have bad days; bad things happen – that is life. The way you react to said bad days and bad things are what make you a good person or a bad person. The choice is 100% yours. Take control of the things you can and let go of the things you can’t.
- Be honest to those who deserve your honesty. Being honest is hard sometimes but at the end of the day and at the end of your life you will feel better and you will be a better person for it. (tip: being honest does not mean being “brutally honest”. People try to use this as an excuse to be rude and/or mean).
- Be loyal to those who deserve your loyalty. Social climbing is a pit of meaninglessness and full of insignificant relationships with people you have to force yourself to fit in with. Being loyal means spending your time and energy on those who care for you and who just simply love you just because.
- Be kind – to everyone. When I sense that someone doesn’t like me I am still nice them. I am nice to them until they give in and start being nice to me, too. And to be clear, I am not one of those people who needs to be liked by everyone. I accept the fact that someone people just aren’t going to be interested in being in my life but if I have to deal with them regularly I demand their respect and considerateness.
- Be inclusive – don’t intentionally leave people out because you think they don’t belong. Everyone deserves a chance and you may be missing out if you deny them of that. Not everyone you meet is going to be your BFF but letting people share even a small portion of their life with you should be considered an honor; everyone has a story and we should learn and grow from each other’s experiences.
Step 3: Smile. I can not tell you how many times people have commented on my smile or the fact that I am always smiling. And it is simply because I am smiling, not because I am supermodel pretty or have perfect teeth because I am not and I don’t. I have always been pretty self conscious about my smile (my teeth are weird, my lips are thin – everyone is their own worst critic). It may sound like complete bullshit to you but it is a proven fact that smiling makes you happier and it makes the people around you happier. Try it, I dare you.
That is it. It is that simple. If you do these three things everything else falls into place. I have learned so much about myself since I decided to go down The Road Of Goodness instead of staying at the corner of Lonely Street and Misery Boulevard. I got hurt a lot when I was younger because I fall in love so fast, so hard, and I love so deeply that I got my heart broken a lot. I have learned to embrace that and I also understand that not everyone loves like I do and that is ok and I am at peace with that. I learned not to force things, instead I just roll with the punches. Forcing things, like romantic relationships or even friendships is so fucking stressful and you never ever get the result you want in the end so it is far better to just leave it alone. And I learned that showing my true self to the world is worth the risk. Now that I don’t filter myself like I used to life is just better. I meet more people, have better friendships, and I am just plain happy.
I write about this particular subject today because a lot is going on in the world these days far away and close to home. The news has been chalk full of death, destruction, greed, war, and sadness this week and I want to do my part to make the world a better place in my own small way. Sometimes we need a reminder that there still is good in the world and if The Good keep on being good things will get better. Remember being good is a choice, and being happy is a choice and guess what – if you make one of these two choices, the other will follow. They go together like peanut butter and jelly, like pinot noir and salmon, like me and swearing.
#behappy #howtobeagoodperson101 #howtobeagoodperson #itseasy #DIY #101 #dontbeanasshole #goodvsevil #loyalty #honesty #bekind #smile