A couple of weeks ago I officially graduated from college with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. Over the past few years I have put myself through college while working full-time. Since graduating I have been in party mode. This is odd for me because I am going out with friends, staying out late, and even not going home… which I have never done before. Last weekend I had planned to go into Boston with friends from work and a couple of my oldest friends from high school to celebrate my graduation. Things changed last-minute and we ended up going to a place in Salem, MA instead. We went right after work so we went to dinner first to make sure we weren’t drinking on an empty stomach – responsible right? At dinner we were talking about all the normal things girls talk about when this gem of a comment came out:
Friend #1 “Are all men creeps?!”
Friend #2 “It comes with the penis.”
The delivery of the comment was just perfect and perfectly summarized how the rest of the night ended up. Guys really are creeps. Through out the night we laughed, danced, and just had an amazing time. The closer it got to the end of the night the creepier the guys got. Not anything too crazy, just asking for phone numbers, then begging, then asking us to come home with them. As I have mentioned, I haven’t been wearing my wedding ring for the past few months. Normally, I would flash the ring and it would be the end of the story… not so much anymore. You tell these guys… sorry, let me rephrase that, you tell these BOYS that you are all set and try to shrug them off and they come at you with “why not” or “what’s you problem”. Is not being interested not enough? And, by the way, what the fuck are you going to do with my phone number? Do you think that getting my number equals getting a blow job or something? Sorry dude – thanks but NO fucking THANKS. I am not as young as I look (or so I’m told) and older women (25+) are a whole different breed than our younger “sisters”. We are NOT going to take your bullshit and it is a lot more difficult to win us over. At one point I had to take my phone out to pull up my Facebook account just to show some douchebag that I am married. Seconds later I am trying to get yet another guy to leave my friend alone. He was incessantly asking for her number as we are trying to leave the bar and he begins to follow us down the street. I turn to her and ask if she wants me to get rid of him and she does. I tell him nicely “We’re leaving. Sorry.” He proceeds “You don’t need to speak for her.” we go back and forth a few times and I finally get him to walk away after having to pry his arm off her shoulder. This last call scramble is disgusting.
*Boys, guys, men: This is not ok. How would you feel if someone treated you mother, sister, or daughter this way? You should be ashamed if you have ever done anything like this.
The next morning I text my friends to say that I had a lot of fun and to thank them. Despite the rude guys I still really did have an amazing time. While texting [friend #2, mentioned above] I tell her that I was reminded of these 3 things due to the events from the previous night:
1. Most guys are creeps
2. Most guys are jerks
3. The single life is a rough scene.
I never expected to find Prince Charming in a bar. Sadly, I am no longer naive enough to believe that Prince Charming exists. What I am trying to figure out is if my husband and I are good for each other. I don’t think it is fair of me to keep asking him to change, I believe that he should be with someone who loves and accepts him just the way he is. I think we all put way too much pressure on ourselves and others to make the “right” choice. No choice you make can ever be 100%… Life just is not that clean-cut; it’s messy and ever-changing and as unsettling as it is to think about you can never be sure you are making the “right” choice.